Gen Z and millennials, it is reported regularly crave feedback. Whether it is true of Gen X or a wider demographic, getting feedback is reassuring or scary – depending on its nature.
I have often said that “I really appreciate getting feedback, but hate it!”. This, of course is the thing with feedback in the workplace. You want to know if you are doing well and at the same time if there is something you could be doing better. None of us like to hear that we are less than perfect, but very often we are unaware of behaviours, processes or mannerisms that others see as ineffective. Often employees rely on and wait for their immediate boss to give them feedback. In a worst case scenario this might be once a year in a formal performance review. In an absolute best case this might be in an informal, regular weekly chat-one-on-one with the boss. The emotions that you feel leaving these meetings is a good indicator as to how you value the conversation. If you feel relief it means that you are looking for feedback on whether you were performing OK. If you feel depressed it might mean that your impression of how you were doing was much better than that of your boss. If you leave motivated it is likely that you’ve welcomed the feedback and excited to improve in a particular area.
A healthy attitude to feedback is to want it. Not just want it, but to get it from peers, others and your boss’s boss; not just from your boss. To want it because you want to do well and improve where it might be helpful to your work and career.
The ideal feedback is based on behaviours, results and mannerisms that others have observed or have been measured. Feedback then can be divided into opinions or pinpointed, reality-based feedback. The trouble with opinions is that they stem from another’s own thoughts and feelings. For example: “Your attitude is not suited to this department” is an opinion and not very helpful. “You are always 5 – 10 minutes late for meetings which makes me feel that you are not committed to the team’s work” is pinpointed in the facts of being late and the fact that it impacts others’ thoughts about you. The latter is useful in making you aware of a specific behaviour and how it affects others and can lead to a change that will be helpful in changing other’s view of your commitment.
Asking for Feedback
Assuming that you have a healthy attitude to feedback, asking for feedback makes sense. You want to avoid vague requests such as “can you give me some feedback on how I’m doing?”. Vague request lead naturally to receiving opinions. You want your request to be pinpointed. How does this work?
In order to make a pinpointed request you must know on what it is, specifically, that you want feedback. As you have a healthy attitude to feedback it is also assumed that you are committed to personal development. Part of a healthy attitude to feedback is being aware, yourself, on where you are trying to succeed. I recommend that you always have a part of your work or worklife that you are trying to improve. Clients who I have coached have been working on some of the following:
- Participating more in meetings
- Improving understanding of presentations by Mancom
- Speaking in a louder voice
- Actively listening to other’s inputs
- Improving output of department as measured by internal clients
- Addressing unacceptable behaviours in direct reports
- Giving helpful feedback versus criticizing
These are all things that can be observed by others. Asking them to give you feedback means that you will share with them what you are focused on improving. A request can sound like this: “I am aware that I do not participate as much as I should in meetings as I have ideas and information that I know will be valuable to the team. Please watch me in my next meeting and give me feedback on how I did”.
The person you ask will be someone whose feedback you know will be honest. It might be a peer, or someone more senior, or even a direct report. In fact, if appropriate, asking a direct report has a hidden value. It communicates that we are all, not perfect, and that we can develop in many ways that are helpful.
This concept of requests for targeted feedback can be reduced to a process. If you have read my articles on process you might recall that all work is a process. Well asking for feedback is a process. Here it is:
Step 1: Pinpoint what it is you are looking to improve.
Step 2: Pinpoint when there will be an opportunity for the to observe you ( a meeting, a report, a presentation etc.)
Step 3: Pinpoint what you want them to observe.
Step 4: Ask them to tell you what you did and how it came across to them.
An example: “ We have introduced some changes to serve your department better by approving payments faster. We are implementing this next week. Please note any changes that have happened on your side and whether they are helpful to your reactions. Can you observe this for a week and then can we meet to discuss?
Feedback from your boss
Do not wait for the formal ‘performance review’ from your boss. Rather do two things. One, ask to have regular one-on-ones – as frequently as once a week or every two weeks if your boss has more than 5 direct reports. Two, let your boss know what you are working on developing and ask for his feedback using the above process.
During the one-on-one meeting make sure that it is not a mini performance review but rather an open conversation on how things are going, any difficulties you are facing and also how your development work is progressing. You might also have ideas for improvement or need clarification on some new policy or change rumoured. Also consider asking your boss about his challenges and how you might help.
We are not as self-aware as we think. I recall once teasing my sales manager about a habit he had of pulling on his ear when he was excited about something. He pushed back by saying – “It’s better to pull on an ear than to always be pushing your glasses back onto your nose”. While it was all in fun, I realized that I was unaware of my constant habit of repositioning my glasses. I do not do that anymore! We are not as self-aware as we think we are.
SUMMARY
- Always make a conscious choice to improve some aspect of your work and work life.
- Select someone to give you feedback whose observations you will value.
- Ask for feedback using pinpointing and the 4-step process.
- Listen to the feedback especially the impact that the change has on them.
- Use the feedback to be encouraged to continue or modify the changes you are making.
